How to Argue 

Like it or not, every couple has some disagreements from time to time. In fact, this is entirely natural and might bring more good to a relationship than harm since disagreeing and arguing is a way of expressing emotions and opinions. Although, there is still a slippery slope between “peaceful” arguing and fighting and fighting can end with hard and hurt feelings. So, although arguments are bound to occur periodically, sticking to some rules can help you steer clear of causing any severe damage.  

Sleep on it. Contrary to the old advice that going to bed angry will lead to even more resent and anger it is now actually advised by therapists to sleep on an argument. You’ve probably experienced a situation when a problem seems much more significant during the nighttime but seems like a less of a deal in the daytime. The same holds true for an argument. Resting your mind, gaining some perspective and letting the sunrise do its tricks will help defuse an otherwise stressful situation.  

Practice empathy. Empathy is the solution to almost any conflict. When you put yourself in someone else’s position and have a glimpse of what they might be feeling it helps you to alter your behavior towards them as well as forgive and let go of the small things. If you feel like your partner is not being rational but emphasize that she might be having a hard time at work or lacking sleep, it will help you de-escalate the situation.  

No “but”. Make a pact to eliminate the word “but” from your arguments. This word gives way to new complications. If you say “I understand but”, it means that your first statement is not fully confident which opens the door to more argument.  

Hug it out. When an argument occurs, it can feel like a loss of connection with your partner. Touch is an important part of reestablishing this connection. That is why even in the most heated moments you should take a second to give your partner a hug or kiss. Maybe even touch on the shoulder might be enough to work the magic.  

Overall, there are some tricks which can help you at a time when your brain is not functioning correctly, and fury seems to take over. Arguments can lead you to say and do some things which you’ll most definitely regret big-time, and remember, what’s said is said, and what’s done is done, there’s no undo button in life. Therefore, try using these tricks which can help you regulate your emotions and avoid causing pain to your loved one.   


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